Decisions

There are moments when all seems ok.
Then are the days when revelation brings to light the deception.
Always watching every move.
Consumed with self and cares for no one else.
I cannot tithe its not allowed.
The thief has come and he is so damn loud.
The truth it slithers in and out.
Now I am silenced and have so many doubts.
Never touched. Constantly put down.
He cannot Love
He cannot share
His selfishness is everywhere.
Mentally Ill without a doubt.
I want to leave but do not know how.
I have quieted any and all friends .
I married this man and took some vows, now I struggle should I stay or get out
My mind in chaos, loss and doubt
The piggy back ride is just too much.
The signs I see would scare most to death
There is never a break and no rest
When does one stay
When does one go
When does one just stop and say NO

Torn

Dear Lord can you make it so I can be two places at once. A new church with a pastor that rocks the house(he's new too) Great friends and people God chose to be my family . I am so blessed . Three beautiful children, A husband that loves me and wants to spend all his time with me, The most spoiled dog who gives more kisses than I can accept, Friends who know they can call and talk and share and ask for help if they need it.. Oh and in the middle of it all A great big GOD who is always there to guide and direct, to show me which way to go and what is right and what is wrong. I can only imagine when I get my new body and join JESUS on the new earth how awesome it will be. No sin, no crying, no more leg pain or seizures, no more cardiovascular disease or high blood pressure, no more blood tests and thru it all with Christ I find JOY. I read about that and heard about it but now to experience it wowzee wowzee woo woo.. To all of you who have been a part of this ride I want to thank you I know at times you must have thought Dear Lord what were you thinkin its ok I think that everyday.. So remember be careful what you wish for it just may happen.

God Kisses

No one could have prepared me for this love that I know. My God shown upon us and lightened our load, as he breathed into you the breath of life, I know now for certain that there is more to my life. I waited and wondered how things would be and now you are here baby makes three. Entwined in my arms and each sweet little breath  I feel like Im drowning in Love in spite of self..

Like a filthy rag

Just a reminder
Monday I had a man tell me great things about my life and how it has changed
Tuesday I had a man tell me of all the bad things people say about me
I was really bothered by that
Then Gods word reminded me we are all like a filthy rag
Sinner saved by the Grace and Mercy of my Lord and saviour Jesus Christ
Hallelujiah
Is that enough ?
Above and Beyond all I coould think or Imagine !!!

The Throne

The weekend full of the Holy Spirit and prayer
There is nothing that can compare
We broke bread and we drank of the wine
Then was the fellowship with the chatter and snacks
Attacks of sugar and salt did not lack
As the hours ticked away I noticed a swelling appear
The throne room has now changed  to alka seltzer, tums and not so sweet fumes.

Jesus ways are Higher than our ways

Yesterday was a reflection of rejection
It was a new day
Friendship was extended
Love shared and accepted
Gods word Alive and faithful
Waiting on the Lord, Grateful
More than I could think or imagine
Love of a child unconditional
Each day a new beginning
Pressing forward to obey him
Prayer that changes everything...

The Reject

The gift given, rejected
The word spoken, rejected
The Love extended, rejected
The forgiveness not accepted, rejected
The load lightened, rejected
The friendship extended, rejected
The encouragement spoken, rejected
A gift each trial
A time to search
A time to seek
A time to Love
Never forsaken
Set aside the feeling
The truth freedom