Where have you been..

I have not written in such a long time my arms aren't working right and the pain is over the top. I try to move on but it is such a distraction there just are not words for my reaction. As days turned to months and now its been a year the pain that I feel I am beginning to fear. What is this pain and where does it come from the joints won't stop aching now emotions are numb. No medical insurance so I am ignored if you cannot pay your life is destroyed. No visits no calls its as if invisible feeling forsaken while the pain makes life miserable. Treated as crazy what do they know until on my deathbed tossed to and fro. What is it God your trying to teach me all I've been doing is trying to reach you.