In the still times

Still the questions looming.
I sit unable to move.
Thinking for myself and demanding to be me..
It feels wrong, yet I know it's right!
Hi Kristi, I have not seen you in some time.
You look differant, older a bit wiser, sober and full of LOVE, yet sad and empty also.
Still determined and stubborn and demanding.
But all with a light heart and a huge Love for life.
Thankful for MY GOD who rescued me, forgave me and LOVES ME unconditionally...
I never have felt you leave me,
Yet at times I find myself in a position to exercise my own free will.
The nagging question ? What you gonna do ?
Right or wrong.. is there one here where I am ?
I don't want to hurt another, yet here or gone that's what it is.
Consequences, that's what it feels like ,where we end up for the things we have done.
Spewed hatred that cannot be taken back, stepping over the line repeatedly and expecting that all will be forgiven and forgotten.
The truth is that has never happened.
God forgive me I did know what I was doing..